ryannorth

ryannorth:

davidmalki:

So I thought that RYAN NORTH and all of his FAKE BOOK JAPERY was perfectly harmless, if a bit mean.

BUT NOW? I KNOW DIFFERENT. Look what arrived in the mail ANONYMOUSLY.

This is no fake. This is a real book that someone spent some amount of real money to have sent to me from Amazon, no note included.

YOU SEE, RYAN? YOU SEE WHAT YOU HAVE WROUGHT???

This book — which, I must repeat for emphasis, is a real thing, like someone had the idea for it (ha ha!) but then didn’t realize that the idea is the entire joke but instead somehow decided they would take on the actual human calorie-burning task of writing 126 pages of — really gives you a smoke-the-whole-pack quantity of what is indisputably people’s favorite parts of LOLcats: the nigh-nonsensical text!

And it’s not just Bible stories. It’s The Bible. It’s abridged to include just the most famous bits (Adam & Eve, Noah, Joseph & his brothers, King David, parts of the Gospels and Acts, and as seen above, Daniel in the lion’s den), but those parts are reproduced VERSE BY VERSE so you do indeed have to slog through “So Daniel liev long an prospar frum Darius to teh othur King, Cyrus, hoo wus a Persian kitteh.”

HI

LARIOUS

This is a concept book. This is a book that people give to one another as a joke, but nobody reads. The corporate buyer for the bookstore didn’t read it. The person buying it for a friend’s birthday didn’t read it. The friend who got it as a gift didn’t read it. I’ll bet the typesetter only read as little of it as she could get away with.

It was regifted a dozen times and every single one of those people did what I did and/or will do, which is: 

- realize what it was

- instantly get all the enjoyment out of that concept that one will ever get

- flip through it

- realize that it goes ON AND ON AND ON

- see that this is a glimpse into a madness best avoided

- quietly close it and put it on a shelf

- give it to another unsuspecting friend so it’s out of one’s own life

The publisher of this book has a whole miserable line of just complete nonsense, including "Blogs Into Books", and I can just tell that this shallow, cash-grabbing —

Wait, what’s that? Sorry…just a second…

Ah.

You say that the author/war criminal of this book, Martin Grondin, set up a wiki site in 2007 to translate the Bible into LOLcat, and that the book actually came along later, printing what had already been written?

Well, then I say that this publisher will probably LOVE my new project, “View Source” (working title), which takes popular websites and just reprints the raw HTML from their homepage. The work’s already done!!!

Confidential to whoever sent this to me: if I ever find out who you are, rest assured we will be enemies forever

These “we got the general public to generate content for this site for free and now we’re selling it and paying them precisely $0” volumes are usually in the discount section of your local bookstore’s humour section and are great to flip through if you want to feel the emotion known as “despair for humanity”

THAT’S RIGHT I SAID IT

Lolol amazing